Positive Body Image: 5 Ways To Get There

Positive Body Image

What is it? Why is it important? How do we get there?

Recently, I feel like God has been speaking to my heart on a topic that has been gaining more exposure and popularity in the media over the last few years. I think He has been speaking to me so strongly about this because, like the good God that He is, He has seen my tears and heard my prayers about this very thing and has given me both understanding and peace and the tools to help other people get through these difficult times in their lives. He has watched me and guided me from being the self conscious, always worrying about how “different” I looked compared to the models and movie stars, to the confident, healthy woman I am today. The road has not been an easy one, friend, and the journey far longer than it needed to be but day by day we are getting there and you can too.

First, lets identify what Body Image is. Body Image refers to a person’s emotional attitudes, beliefs and perceptions of their own body. It relates to what a person believes about their appearance, how they sense and control their body as they move and how they feel about their body including their weight, height and shape. You can have a positive body image or a negative body image.

If you have a positive body image, you have a true and clear perception of your body shape and appearance that others would agree with. This person is generally happy with how they look, and they accept and feel good about their body EVEN if it does not match what the media, society, friends or family suggest is attractive. A body positive individual is grossly aware that how they LOOK is not who they ARE. They are generally happy with their appearance and feel confident and attractive. Part of having a positive body image is the ability to separate how we value ourselves from how we look. People who realize that self worth is not linked to appearance tend to feel good about how they look.

Now, let us touch on the much more common Body Image – the negative one. A negative body image arises when a person feels that their looks do not measure up to what society, family, friends and the media expect from them. They compare themselves with others and feel inadequate in the comparisons. They lack confidence and often feel ashamed, embarrassed and uncomfortable in their body. This isn’t just for the ladies either. Many men, although they may have a different way of showing it, have a negative body image of themselves.

I think it’s fair to say that at some point in all our lives we have fallen into that negative body image category. Maybe you have had trouble losing the baby weight that society constantly reminds you you should lose, maybe you have developed adult acne, perhaps you chopped your oh-so-long hair that you have had forever and are less than thrilled with the results. Whatever the reason is, at some point in our lives, we have all been there.

I often think back to a conversation I had a few years back with my very petite, adorable size 2 friend. She told me that even on the hottest days, she will never wear shorts, and that she hasn’t since she was a child. Shocked, I asked, her why. She told me that she hated how pale her legs looked and was teased about it as a child and it’s always been her “thing”. Imagine that. My, in my opinion, perfect adorable size 2 friend has body image issues. I remember another surprising conversation I had at my wedding. I was taking a photo with my two very dear friends. One is what society would classify as average size, the other would have been considered on the petite or small side of average, and I am considered morbidly obese (thanks BMI…you suck by the way). My average size friend and myself both made the comment to the photographer, “make us look skinny,” and our petite friend said, “make me look like I don’t have chicken legs.” Okay, what? My petite, gorgeous, professional, confident friend has body image issues? That’s when it dawned on me. Different level, same devil. What does that mean? That it doesn’t matter what your body type is, there’s a pretty darn good chance you’re not satisfied with it.

So, what can we do to change this? How can we get to a place of accepting our body, AS IT IS, and living our best freaking live? The answer to this is not a simple one, it requires work, it requires reprograming and it requires adopting a new attitude. What it doesn’t require is crash diets. It is a mind shift. It is an entirely new way of thinking. It is a new set of daily habits. It is work, but let me tell you sister (or brother…I know some of you men need to hear this too) – it is WORTH IT!

5 Ways To Get There:

1. Clean it up. What am I talking about? Your social media. Your Instagram, your Facebook, the people you follow….your influencers. Do you follow a ton of fitness girls but not actually do the workouts or meal plans they are suggesting and simply look at their six packs and toned arms and feel even worse about yourself? Get rid of them! I am sure they are wonderful people, and they play an important role in our online community, however if you are only following them to compare yourself to them and look to them for “motivation” to lose weight or eat better but don’t actually put in the work, they are causing you more damage than good. Find positive body activists out there who encourage you to accept yourself today, just as you are. I promise it makes a difference in your subconscious. Some of my favorites on the gram are @thefightforbeauty @ashleygraham @ashliemolstad @itsmekellieb @bodyposipanda @thebirdspapaya

2. Purge. Girl, I see you, buying up the size smaller “goal” outfit time and time again because you think it will motivate you to drop some pounds. Or, on the flip side, holding on to clothes for decades simply because you THINK you will get back into them someday. Whatever the reason is you have an entire closet of clothes that you don’t wear, it’s time to let go. Of it ALL. Every single thing that does not fit you anymore, toss it. Well, don’t actually toss it, donate, have an online closet purge party, sell on poshmark or ebay, whatever….just make some new space for some great outfits that make you feel good. Today. Not twenty pounds from now, not six months from now. Today. When we hold on to things that no longer serve who we are today, it clutters our space. Physically and mentally. When you are “full” there is no room for new experiences, new clothes, new people or new anything. I’m sure if Elsa could see any of your closets right now, she would break out in song. “Let it go….let it go”

3. Write it down. Did you know you are 70% more likely to achieve a goal if you have it written down? There is something about that pen to paper business that connects the dots in your brain. But what do you write down? You are going to write down 5 POSITIVE things about your body. Every. Single. Day. Have a journal on your night stand or next to your favorite chair and get in the habit of using it. There are SO many benefits of journaling, but I’m just asking you to write down 5 simple things that you like about your body. Do you have great nails? Write it down. Love your skin tone? Write it down. Like your birthmark? Write it down. However small and silly you think it is, just write it down. Try to make if different every day. I know what you are thinking. After a week (or a day) you are going to run out of body parts that you appreciate about yourself. Trust me, the more you learn to appreciate and accept your body, the longer that list will naturally get. I recently had a woman giving me a pedicure tell me I had great toenails for painting. My feet are one of my biggest hang ups, but guess what’s on my list now? You betchya, my toenails. Imagine.

4. Set some boundaries. Are you constantly amongst a group of friends who talk about weight ALL THE TIME? Or how unhappy they are with their body, or marriage, or house, or job? This stuff weighs you down, and keeps you there. Imagine what it would be like if you surrounded yourself with people who are actually positive and grateful and in love with their life? Chances are, that attitude would rub off on you. Challenge some of your long time relationships and determine if they align with your values and who you are striving to be. If they don’t, it may be time to make some changes, set some boundaries about the conversations you find acceptable or unacceptable and limit your time with those negative nellies. Remember, you are the average of the 5 people you spend time with. Find a network that fits who you want to be. They are out there, especially in the online communities.

5. Move your body. No, this is not a secret ploy to get you to lose weight so you can start to like your body. Not at all. What it is, however, is an excellent way to raise those endorphins that make you FEEL better. Find something you like to do. Maybe it is playing Wii with your kids, or walking your dog, or kick boxing, or self defense classes or yoga or signing up for a 10K race. Whatever way you chose to move your body, just do it. This is not about losing weight, this is about being healthy both physically and mentally and raising those energy levels so you can do all the things you want to do in this life.

All too often we are reminded that life is short. We are given one life to live my friend. Why are we wasting our energy on soul sucking comparisons and self loathing? The world says you’re not worthy of love as you are and that you are not enough. God says, I love you deeply, I value you highly, I planned for you carefully. Let’s work towards viewing ourselves as God sees us, not as the world does.

Make sure you’re following me on my socials and get in touch if you’re ready to take control of your thoughts, your habits and your happiness. It’s time.

xoxo,

Krissy